Born and raised in the backstreets of Blackpool, doyenne of the decks and former Vengabus driver Lola Tidoremi first honed her musical chops as a barmaid in the legendary Flying Handbag, dodging the truancy officer while sucking up funky grooves and abandoned Bacardi Breezers with equal vigour. After a brief and unlucky stint as a mortician’s assistant, Lola returned to her roots and has been cranking up the decibels with her growing flock of reprobates and adoring glitterballs ever since.
Of unknown nature, origin and destination, the being known as ‘Funtime’ Frankie is a stunning six-foot-ten blonde with retrograde amnesia and a passion for flowing fabrics and fat beatz. Dragged up from the icy waters of the North Atlantic when her size 13 heels caught in the net of Sven’s trawler, this mysterious mermademoiselle washed up under the pier dazzled by the bright lights of the Pleasure Beach and has been passing as a land-lady ever since. Serving the freshest fish since Captain Birdseye, our Frankie keeps it classy 24/7, much to the disappointment of the lovelorn Sven, who can’t decide whether it’s the legs or the tail he likes the most.
Everybody’s favourite fun-size sequin-spattered anarcho-communist, Tiny Tina began her showbiz career as a member of the socialist doom metal collective Hell’s Engels before being given the boot when it became clear that she was actually enjoying herself. Known for her ‘enthusiastic’ ‘dancing’ and ‘excitable’ ‘personality’, Tina currently resides in a Wendy house on Lola’s allotment which she has wallpapered with pictures of reputed ex-lover Neil Kinnock. Her hobbies include piña coladas, getting caught in the rain and the systematic disestablishment of end-stage industrial capitalism. Lost and looking for chips one night after the Labour Party Conference, Tina wandered into the Handbag, and the rest is herstory.
Sweaty Sven, or ‘Svettig Sven’ in his native Sweden, is the lost child of one nineties rave too many. Once the captain of successful Baltic Sea trawler the Kräsna Sjöstjärnan, Sven traded a comfortable life among the mackerel for the glowsticks, shellsuit jackets and pounding techno of post-unification Germany. There, in basements deep under the Oranienstrasse, he discovered the secrets of the përmåpärty and has been living in a constant state of disco ever since. Known to react violently to dim lights and quiet music, Sven followed Jukebox Bingo around for years because “it was shiny” before DJ Lola gave in and employed him. Our ravin’ Scandinavian can be found left, front and centre of the action, occasionally gazing wistfully at a fishfinger.